Gender REVEAL---

YaYAAAA!!! It is finally here. We went on Thursday to Fetal Fotos to find out what these little muffins are made of. One of them was a real treat, steeling the thunder at every chance. The other was a bit stubborn. At every ultrasound baby A is very cooperative and baby B is a bit difficult. It should be interesting if they join our family this way. The tech found baby A's gender really fast. Baby B took some extra TLC. After 45 minutes, poking, prauding and laying on my side we got it! They called Carrie at Carrie's Cakes to let them know the genders and we were off. We could hardly wait for Saturday!!!

Today couldn't have been more incredible. We had all of our fam and friends gathered around us for the big reveal. We had quite the smorgasbord! We thoroughly enjoyed two of Subway's 6 foot sandwiches, fruit, spinach dip, salad, chips, meat balls, sugar cooks, eclairs, macaroons, drinks AND CAKE!!

After everyone ate and voted for which team they were on, we gathered around for what everyone has been waiting for.... Ben and I each cut off a corner. As I was cutting mine I was watching Bens piece. I was seeing pink, I glanced over at mine and PINK IT WAS! We couldn't believe it. WE WERE SHOCKED!!! Two little ladies are joining our family. We couldn't be more excited!!!

I have THE BEST relationship with my mom and couldn't imagine life without a daughter... let alone TWO!! Three on one baby. Daddy is in trouble!!!

Merry Merry!!!

This year has definitely been different compared to the rest. Ben and I found ourselves not needing or wanting one thing. It is the year that we both feel like we have it all. I always look forward to the odd years because that means we get to spend it with my family. Not that The Michel's aren't any less fun but come on... we are ALL a little bias when it comes to our "own." We have quite the traditions of us all sleeping over at my parents on Christmas Eve. We do a sub for santa every time and the kids were able to wrap the presents for a little family in my parents mission. It was hard for them to understand why Santa wasn't bringing them tomorrow but they loved it! We dropped it off and then went to Draper park to see the big lit up tree. It is amazing and once again the kids loved it. Then we came home to the parentals and made cookies for Santa. Abigale and Lydia put them out with some milk and then off to bed. I was so sick and exhausted at this point that Ben and I decided to sleep at home. It was sad. It was the first year I just couldn't do it. Between morning sickness and building two babes this bod has seen new lows. We headed home but couldn't wait to open presents in the morning with the whole clan. Jonathan and Carley come with all of their presents for their kids which makes it THAT MUCH BETTER! We always love to see the excitement on Abigale, Lydia and Ryan's faces when they see all that Santa brought. We can hardly wait for next year to have babies of our own to spoil. After all, shopping for two thirty year olds that buy pretty much what they want year round isn't so exciting.

This was the first year I felt like our Christmas tree was daunting. We brought the tree in right after Thanksgiving and set it up but it stood bare for two weeks. My morning sickness dang near killed my enthusiastic, decorating self. It was the first year I was more than happy with the white lights as decor. Finally, after Benj said he was going to do it so I didn't have to we both buckled down for a few hours to get this thing done. I LOVE OUR TREE! It finally feels like the holidays around here. Thank you Ben!!! You have picked up all my slackage!

And then came the Mamaroo's!! We have heard how fab they are and Benny surprised me with two of them for Christmas. I may or may not have cried over receiving my very first baby gifts. haha! I can't hardly believe someone is trusting us with two little muffins this next year! Praise the heavens!!!

Now.... does Christmas get any better then this???? We love our little Ry! SOOOO MUCH!!! He could have spent an hour with each toy before opening up any thing else. Papa and Daddy both bought him the exact same basketball hoops so it looks like this little man is starting early to play full court. He made this year so much fun! Gma got him his Capt'n America get up that he was obsessed with. Ben and I got him that mallow arrow. Between the two he was IN HEAVEN!! We found marshmallows all over the house for days. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Morning SICKNESS times a TWO

It is official. 6 weeks came and so did the all day throwing up and nausea. I can't keep a single thing down. I've lost 8 lbs and dream of the day when ANYTHING sounds good. You know its bad when you get nauseous doing extractions during a facial. Nothing smells but the look of it kills me these days. This has always been one of my favorite things to do but its now on my 110 things I never wish to do again along with smelling onions and garlic. Thanksgiving was rough!

Ben and I went to Walmart to grocery shop and I didn't even make it through the front door without throwing up. Do they cook grease monkeys by the door? It is THE MOST revolting smell alive. I know they have the grease shop right at the door where you can buy their chicken legs but come on people, is this smell really necessary?!

I had my first doc appt with Dr. Ponder and she was SO EXCITED we were pregnant! She has been through the trenches with us and our miscarriages. My IVF doc wanted me to see a high risk doctor and when I told her that she said; "Don't even think about switching doctors, I will be delivering these babies." That made me feel good. We have been through 7 crazy years of jazz and I do love her!

She is definitely concerned about my weight. I'm officially diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum so the next stop is IV's every other day! She said I will feel much better if I can keep down the nausea medication and with an IV it will be close to automatic relief. I am surely excited about this! I have tried it all and the only relief I get is when I'm asleep so I'm afraid that is ALL I WANT to do!

Props to Benny for holding my hair while I violently puke during all times of the day and night. YOU ARE THE BEST!!! Not to mention eating out almost every meal because I can't stand the smell of ANYTHING in our house. Love is certainly unselfish! Thank you!!!!

Giving thanks of all thanks!

 My heart is full. Gratitude, love, hope, understanding, peace and joy fill my soul. I am more thankful then ever for a man that is my rock. Ben is the most incredible husband. He gives me peace in my heart when nothing else can. He distills deep inside that every thing will be alright. It always has been.

Our journey as husband and wife has been tough. Infertility brings out the best but most times the absolute worst in a person. I'm more than guilty of the worst side. For the first time in my whole life I experienced depression, along with hopelessness, intense anger, physical and emotional pain, jealousy and heart ache. The emotions run ram-pet from one extreme to the next some times with in minutes of one another. During our cycles of in-vitro I would cry for no reason at all. Ben would ask me what is wrong and the answer often times was sincerely nothing. I would have a great day but the tears would flow like rivers. He would hold me tight and promise everything would be ok. He would promise that we would have a family. I don't know how He could have so much faith when I was so doubtful of the hellish route we were on. He never lost sight of our goal and gave me all of his strength to carry on. Through our ups and lot of downs over the past several years I have learned that it is the vulnerable, faithful, sincere, genuine man that captured my whole heart. I can't imagine being on this journey with anyone else in the whole world by my side. He truly is my everything.

Before this last cycle of in-vitro, I realized that with or without kids I was the happiest wife alive. Maybe this is where I needed to end up in order for God to be bless us with children. I will never know, but I truly did find myself for the first time not needing any more than the man that stood by me through hell or high water, loving me for me. My erratic hormones of emotions were engulfed by pure love and service time and time again when they weren't deserved. He is, hands down, the best husband alive! Thank you to all the love and constant laughter you bring to our marriage!

I feel overwhelmed by the love and support of family. Friends that we too call family. There have been so many angels in our lives over the years that have made our journey easier.

First, and foremost my Mom. She is super woman! Mothers do know their children and I can't wait to have understanding of the infinite intuition that my mom has for me. She knows me far better then any friend. She has brought us meal after meal through this process of endless bed rests over the years. Her daily calls to check on me, just in the nick of time often saved me (most importantly Ben) from a break down. A mom of this caliber just doesn't come around. Mom, YOU truly are MY super woman! I can hardly wait for these babes to meet the most amazing woman alive and call her grandma!!

Second-- my Dad!!! He has given me so much strength through the priesthood. I have always had a huge testimony of the healing power of the priesthood because of the way it has always worked miracles in my life. From a small child dad taught us to use the power of the priesthood in our lives. My dad is more than a man. He is a priesthood man. He is a patriarch that STILL knows what his ADULT CHILDREN need. He came over to give me a blessing before our last in-vitro transfer with the inspiration to give me a healing blessing with oil. He is a man of faith. He is a man of honesty. He is a man of friendship. He is a man of generosity. He is a man of service. He is a man of laughter. He is a man of love. He is a man of miracles. He is a man of example. He is a man of the gospel. He is one incredible man! I feel very blessed to call him, DAD! Now we have a joke in our family that Dad's priesthood blessing bring about twins SOOOOOO WATCH OUT! Be very careful what you wish for. Lou has been sick and I told her be very scared when dad puts his hands on your head. Thank you DAD!!!!!

Third-- My sister in law! Briana is married to Ben's older brother. We married brothers with in a few months of each other and for us--- Bri and I, it was love at first sight. From the beginning we just worked. She may be five year younger then me but you would never know it! She has taught me so much. She has a heart of pure love and sacrifice. She has come to my rescue several times. I always take Thursdays off and we started the tradition of spending the day together shortly after she had little Samantha last April. It is truly amazing the impact that a sister and niece can have on a broken heart. There were days I was an emotional wreck and in physical pain from hormone injections and some how these two special ladies brought sunshine and love day after day. I love you Bri! It is no wonder that we were made sisters through marriage. We were meant to be together! Thank you for sharing the love of being a mother with me. Not to mention your little non-sleeping, happy, gorgeous angel. She came into our family at the perfect time. I know she has everything to do with bringing these two miracle spirits into our family. Holding and loving on her has brought me so much peace. I can't express my gratitude and love enough of what our friendship means. You are an incredible friend, daughter, sister, wife and mother. Thank you for being YOU!!!

Brosephine-- I have four brothers and love them all but one in particular and his wife have been my angels through the IVF process. He is my only brother so far that knows the joy that comes from babies so maybe it is the understanding of the pain we were feeling. I'm thankful for JT and Carley. Jonathan and I are only 18 months apart and because of that we've always been close. He has called me random-- PERFECT times over the past few years just to check on me. This has meant so much! Right before this last cycle Ben and I were trying to decide if we should go ahead with it and start meds or wait until the next one. JT called me out of the blue the afternoon before the doc had to know to check and see how I was feeling. After we talked a while he said; "Laur, please don't wait any longer. This one could be the one. Then our babies will only be a few months apart." They planned there last baby with our July IVF cycle that didn't take so they are expecting their fourth, a little girl and last baby in April. This will put our babes just two months apart. For some reason this gave me the strength to move forward, after all what did I have to lose? I didn't have a baby and it could only get us one step closer to our goal. Jonathan and I have tried to have babies together since Jonathan and Carley's first. It was always close but unfortunately ours ended up in miscarriages. We have failed every time until now but they have never stopped being our cheerleaders! Thank you for checking on us!! You two are amazing with the cutest fam in town! Love you both!!!

There are so many others that have helped our roller coaster be a little less intense along the way. We will be forever grateful for your prayers, support, love and sacrifice in our behalf. We are both overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to be parents next year. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!!

6 week ultrasound

Today was our official viability scan even though we got a stellar sneak peek with last weeks scare. The spotting is random. Dr. H says that is a great sign. The babes look happy and healthy. The heart beats are strong and they are all nestled in for the winter. Even though they look like little beans it is still so fun to see them. We are officially 6 weeks. OH HAPPY DAY!

Blood scare---

I woke up this morning, got ready for work and headed into the salon on cloud nine just like any ordinary pregnant woman at the beginning of her baby journey. About ten I went into pee and realized I started spotting. As positive as I wanted to be this was the horror signs that haunted me the last three and a half years of our marriage. I wanted to think everything was fine but couldn't. This was the starting sign of every miscarriage I have had. I called Gail's cell phone in tears. The pour head nurse is retired now but it was only her that could calm my nerves at this point. AND-- call it inspired but that is exactly what she did. She said it could be the babes implanting deeper into the uterine wall and not to worry. Bleeding happens a lot in the first trimester of pregnancy. She wanted us to call Dr. H and go in for a ultrasound as soon as possible to confirm. I couldn't leave work until 1 since I was booked with clients but we headed in as soon as possible. Dr. H was supposed to be teaching medical students until 2 but he got done early today so we walked in with him. Talk about meant to be.

He got us right in for our ultrasound. With a big smile and his strong accent he said; "Laur there is absolutely nothing to worry about.... do you hear that? That is the healthy heart beat of two babies." Ben gave my hand a tight squeeze and a big smooooch! Of course tears of pure gratitude began to run down my cheeks. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE REALLY HAVING TWINS!!! I blame this all on Benj because from the very beginning when Dr. H explained the risks of multiples with in vitro Benny said; "twins would be great! That is what I call a two for one special"

Well a two for one is exactly what we got AND They will be great! I'm sure hard.... but GREAT! What could be more amazing then one baby.... but TWO!

The bleeding is coming from the weight of the sacs pulling on the uterine wall. Dr. H said as the babes get bigger they will put pressure against the wall which will stop the bleeding. For now, just as a precaution since I'm high risk and even more now that there is two--- I'm on bed rest other then work until I see my OB at 10 weeks. WHAT?! No more crossfit! :(

Anything is worth giving up to have these babes healthy until they arrive! Here is our first glimpse of baby A and baby B.... (the dark spot on each side of the babes is the tears in the uterine wall causing the bleeding.)

a whopping 3940!!!

That is right friends..... MY numbers more then doubled! YaY!!!! The nurse said it is either a really strong pregnancy with numbers so high or there is a good possibility two babes nestled in for the long hall. We won't know for sure until our 6 week ultrasound with Dr. H. Doesn't matter, either way at least one is in there cozy and I am thrilled. I can't believe this is really happening! 

Here is that beloved needle that has to go all the way into my hips every night for a muscular injection. Progesterone shots are much easier now that I doing it with results. They still make me cry 90% of the time now since my hips are so bruised from all the injections but I sure try to take it like a WO-man. Lets be honest, no man is dumb enough to be the recipient of one of these beauts. I have to continue shots every night until I am 10 weeks pregnant and estrogen until then too. 

BEING PREGNANT IS A DREAM COME TRUE!!!!